The Misc. Blog

The Mad Hatters' Story

2008-10-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

This is a story with no point. It is a mere recounting of a life from my perspective. I cannot be held responsible for the content, I write what is, what was, what really happened. This is the story of the Mad Hatter.

Numerous accounts of the origins of the Mad Hatter state that he became mad the same way that every other hatter did, through the daily inhalation of fumes coming from Mercury, the liquid not the planet this story will disprove that.

The Mad Hatter, or rather Mishell Alexandrov, was born in Moscow, Russia on March 12 in the year 1840. His father was the son of Russian aristocrats and his mother was the daughter of an Irish Lord and Lady. Mishell was a very intellectually adept child who, by the age of six, could read, speak and write in four languages: Russian, English, French, and Italian. He also excelled in chemistry, math and English. By the age of 9 he had developed the formula and the blueprint of that which would later become the Atomic bomb, when his notes were found and fine-tuned by Albert Einstein. It was said that if the I.Q. test had been around he would have scored somewhere between a 220 and a 232. The one thing that brought him the most fame and pleasure, other than chemistry, was his love of riddles wordplay. He himself had written and published three 150 page books filled with riddles. He also published a 90 page analysis of palindromes that was eventually adopted by Cambridge University, specifically for the advanced literature studies classes. For the tail end of Russian Ruler Nicholas I and the beginning of Alexander II’s reign Mishell was the scientific advisor to the throne, until he was let go in 1856 because a complete mental breakdown. This was the beginning of his psychological and social downward spiral and it was all because of one horrifying event, which profoundly affected him.

On Mishell’s father’s side of the family it was customary for each male to buy his first top hat when he crossed over into manhood. On the day of his sixteenth birthday Mishell’s father took him out to do just that, buy his first top hat. On their way back home two vagrants tried to hold up Mishell and his father, but his father would not submit to their demands. Not wanting to be punished for trying to rob a noble, one of the vagrants pulled out his Belgian Horse Pistol and blew Mishell’s father’s head off, Mishell, who had been standing behind his father, was splattered with the entire contents of his father’s head, and this subsequently caused him to black out. In a statement by Mishell he said the last thing he remembered seeing was a white rabbit running through the alley next to the Hat store Mishell and his father had come out of. He was very, very, deeply affected by this. He began to pay less and less attention to the real world and developed various eccentricities such as always carrying around a pet rabbit (said to be because of the rabbit he saw at his father’s murder) and also never taking his hat off.

After about three years of cooping himself up in his house Mishell became tired of being sad all the time, he wanted to find out how to finally move past the death of his father in as little time as possible. He planned to create some sort of pill, to be taken by the mouth, which could completely block the part of the brain that controlled sorrow. He worked laboriously for 14 months and finally came up with a very potent early formula for Lysergic acid diethylamide, also known as LSD or acid. He believed that this chemical compound, when ingested would affect the brain in such a way that you could no longer be sad. On May 19, 1860 at 12:30 pm Mishell Alexandrov took a 900 milligram dose of LSD and he was changed forever. His high from the absurdly large dose of LSD lasted for two entire weeks and Alexandrov was enamored with the feeling of pure ecstasy. He saw many things: smoking caterpillars and queens who lived backwards, card soldiers and disappearing cats, he even saw a pair of insanely stupid twins. He took notes, writing down every little thing he saw, or rather, thought he saw. The entire world around him appeared to be what it wasn’t. Wastelands were jungles and condemned houses were kingdoms, he was mad. For five years he did this. Taking absurd amounts of LSD and taking notes, which he carried with him everywhere, he had an entire boxful. He traveled throughout Russia meeting with kings who weren’t there and talking to his Rabbit friend who had a penchant for being punctual.

In June of 1865 while he was on his way to the see the White Queen in the eighth square, just a condemned house on the outskirts of Moscow, he saw a couple from England standing in front of a hat store, the store that had been the setting for such a horrible event in his life so many years earlier. He ran up to them furiously and, according to an account written by the man much later, proceeded to scream at them. According to the account Mishell, in a furious rage, screamed “Why is a Raven like a writing desk!” the man fearing for his life and that of his wife replied with a simple “I don’t know. Why?” According to the account Mishell proceeded to laugh hysterically and uncontrollably and replied to the man “I haven’t the slightest idea” he then chucked his boxful of notes at the man and ran off towards the condemned house. Unfortunately this condemned house was in considerably worse condition in than the other houses, and when Mishell entered and began to prance about the houses main support beam cracked. The entire house collapsed trapping Mishell and burying him with his rodent companion, and the White Queen of the Eighth Square. There was no funeral, no one cried, Mishell was not missed. He left no mark in the world other than a box filled with five years worth of notes about smoking caterpillars, and queens who lived backwards, card soldiers and disappearing cats, and even a pair of insanely stupid twins, a box full of notes that, in the final hour of his life he threw at a man, a random, non-important, insignificant man, a man that went by the name of Lewis Carroll.

Yes We Can!!!

2008-08-29T17:50:00.000-07:00

For any of you who were not aware, the last week in this past August was when the 2008 Democratic convention was held, and what a convention it was!
Though the convention had been going on since Monday morning, I did not get the opportunity to go to any events until wednesday. Wednesday, the third day the DNC was in session, was the day that I went to Pepsi Center to listen to a number of political superman, former President Bill Clinton. While my experience at the Pepsi Center was less than desirable, the speeches were wonderful. Words of change, and words of support for the middlemen of America, it was great. My favorite speech of the night was Bill Clinton's because of the fact that he finally let go of the feelings brought on by the tight presidential race between Obama and his wife earlier in the year and just showed up to support Obama and speak on his behalf.
Thursday, the fourth day that the DNC was in session, was the most anticipated day of all, it was the day Obama was set to speak. Tens of thousands of people stood in lines to get into Invesco Field, the setting for Obama's speech, and though I have to admit that the hour I waited in line to get into the stadium and the other 45 minutes I waited for a seat left me a bit perturbed, when I saw the sight of a hundred thousand people chanting "Yes we can!" I was stunned. Many people spoke, among them Al Gore, Joe Biden, and various union workers and military men, but noone was really that interested in them, they just continued chanting Obama, waiting for their hero to appear. Time drug on and on until the anticipated hour, 8 O'clock arrived. People went crazy. It was as if all these hundreds of thousands of people were drug addicts and Obama was their fix. The energy was incredible. When Obama began his speech people couldn't contain themselves. obama's entire speech on supporting middlemen, and tax cuts for lower income families was riddled with shouts from the crowds all sounding like "yes we can". I walked into Invesco Stadium with an atittude of slight indifference and walkes out screaming and cheering just like everyone else in that stadium. I'm convinced, convinced that this man, Barack Obama, can be the one to change america, and I'm pretty sure that anyone that went in to the filed uncertain were damn well convinced when they left and were probably waving their american flags and yelling "yes we can" just like me.

School Time

2008-08-18T00:56:00.000-07:00

*Sniff* *Sniff* Ahh the smell of new books and freshmen is in the air, it's about that time again, well almost. This year is my year, as is every other year, but this year is my senior year. Fuck Yea! This year seems to be promising, schedule is great, love my friens, comfortable with myself. It'll be fun. I'm finally driving so hoorah for me.

Hmm, what else... OH today i spent the day with my sister aka friend that i've known forever. We watched Juno (fuckin awesome) and 27 Dresses (also fuckin awesome) and she let me borrow Accross the Univers and Love in the time of Cholera. I loooove Across the Universe, it's one of my fav musicals next to Sweeny Todd. I've never seen Love in the time of cholera but hoefully it's good. Tomorrow I'm going to go see Tropic Thunder and then the VMA concert at six flags with friends, (Rob, Deanna, Alex, Rob, Nate, and Sarah. Katy Perry, Boys Like Girls, Metro Station, and I think All time low will be there. It's gona be fun!

A while ago... (Why I "LOVE" Sue)

2008-06-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

A while ago at a party far, far away (not really it was in Maryland) many kids were having a great time. They had been partying strong for about 5 hours, and were having a downright jolly time. The hosts, a pair of twins named John and Jacob Stein* who are awesome, had been gracious enough to provide plenty of drinks, soda pop* and such, for the crew of party goers and they were very thankful. Unfortunately one girl drank to much [soda pop*] and she got ~~really drunk~~ a nasty headache. She went outside to get a little fresh air in her system unfortunately her "headache" was so bad the she was stumbling and stumbled into the street. Then the Steins'* neighbor ~~PSYCHO BITCH SUE~~ Sue B. was driving to her house and saw the young girl. She assumed that the party goers had been drinking alcohol ~~BECAUSE IT'S GREAT~~ and they were not. She decided that she wanted to be mean and send all the children home so she ~~YELLED LIKE A BITCH AND SENT EVERYONE RUNNING AND ALMOST CALLED THE POLICE~~ politely asked everyone to leave and told them all to have a nice night. Many of the other children had "headaches" and were unable to drive home so, being the polite person I am, drove around one of the people with a headache, ~~WE RODE AROUND FOR THREE HOURS EVADING THE POLICE AND SOBRIETY CHECKPOINTS AND HE THREW UP LIKE FIVE TIMES AND IT WAS HIS CAR!!!~~ it was a very nice ride through the night eventually we went back the Steins' house ~~BECAUSE I COULDN'T GO HOME SMELLING LIKE CIGARETTES AND BEER~~ to have a nice nap. In the morning we all woke up refreshed and vowed to never drink "soda pop" again. ~~FUCK THAT~~

*=Name/Word changed for the protection of others

Hey guysss...

2008-06-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

Yea hey people I'm sorry i've negelcted you. i just had a really tough last month of school, friends and family died, i got raped (by finals) but school is over now so it all good...

In the Works for the Summer:
-Working on my my lifegaurd certification.
-Gotta do a couple photoshoots to work on my portfolio.
-Summer school
-Parties
-Parties
-Parties
-Painting (Maybe)

The Oafs

2008-05-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

As i sit here listening to two sport oafs arguing about who got the better
scholarship I laugh to myself because, knowing them, they'll go to college and
coast straight through their four years. I laugh because, even though they will
coast while i have to work to make up for the horrible grades I got through high
school, once I'm done with college I will have worked the stupidity out of my
system and shed my contempt for hard work while the oafs will be thrown head first
into a world they didn't work to get to and are not prepared for...